"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened,and I will give you rest."
Matthew 11:28
This week was really exhausting for me because of school and a whole bunch of other things. I'm glad it's the weekend now and that I actually have time to sleep. I realized that most of the time during the week, if I'm not busy doing something I'm busy planning out what I'm going to be doing a few moments later. There is no time to stop, no time to focus on anything but the task at hand. Even when I do my devotionals I feel rushed in the mornings because I know I have to lead prayer at school, and if I do them at night I feel like that is the only time where I can find peace in God--but only for a brief moment before I sleep or finish my homework. That brings me to another point--why I love my Saturdays and Sundays spent with DEM. The prayer meetings especially are precious to me because I have no other responsibility but to come. Finally I have a time where I can devote all my consciousness to talking, praising, and being with God through prayer. Don't get me wrong--I love serving DEM and the kids at my high school, but I am grateful the Lord has also provided me with those moments throughout the week where I can find my quiet place-especially on Saturday.
It is at these moments where I ask this--
"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit in me."
Psalm 51:10
10.31.2008
10.24.2008
Our reward in heaven is so much greater
It is good to praise the Lord,
and make music to your name, O most High
to proclaim your love in the morning,
and your faithfulness at night
Psalm 29:1-2
It's really weird sometimes how much an effect peer pressure can have on you when you're at school. So many times I am tempted to stray from my walk with God when I hear my nonbelievers talking about going to crazy parties and other activities. I mean, not that I am particularly interested in drinking or doing drugs or any sort of thing like that. Even for just a brief moment, I feel like I've missed out, because people always are recounting these events with stories full of laughter and smiles that I wish I would've been there to have fun with them. I've found that this fleeting feeling has had much more of a presence as I get older each year and my peers are starting to live lives consumed with more and more temporal thrills. But sometimes it feels like you're an outsider, kind of like you know you're forbidden from doing any such thing because you are supposed to be living a life of holiness. Truly there have been some times where I feel like I need to break out of this "entrapment" I have let myself fall into, this "church-goer" stereotype that people often assume with Christians. I especially know this feeling of frustration is true for many pastor kids I've met, "p.k's", who feel like they need to prove themselves to the world and act out so that they will not be judged based on preconceptions.
But I always do come back to the conclusion that this is the wrong sort of attitude I should have towards my faith in God. Faith should not be treated as a burden; it is God's gift. Why am I jealous of these unbelievers when I have something that is unknown to their sinful hearts? To be jealous of worldly things....why bother? They will pass soon enough, and I have something so much better that all those unbelievers don't have. The world tries to capture us with catch phrases such as : "c'est la vie!", "live in the moment", "live life on the edge". Notice that all of these phrases are based on the notion of life on this earth...if you think about it, they all treat the life they have now as the only thing they've got, telling you to use every moment to live it in thrill and excitement to make sure your life is not a wasted one. For unbelievers, this life really pretty much is all they've got. But that is where the beauty of God's grace comes in. We as believer shall not waste our lives on this earth on the thrills that this world has to offer. Our eyes are turned towards something else that we shall receive when we see His face. We shall receive something that will last forever, something that will be amazing and greater than anything else we have ever experienced; eternal life. I am blessed by Jesus' blood, by God's grace, and most importantly, His love; that in itself, is good enough for me.
Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven….
Matthew 5:12
10.17.2008
Light of the World
You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put in under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.
Matthew 5:14-16
In my english class we never really have tests or anything, and most of our written work is done outside of class. Instead, we have discussions. This week we were discussing the transcendentalists...this eventually led to a conversation on God and science. What struck me the most during that period was that so many people seemed to believe in God, or at the very least a higher power, or "the magic in life" in the words of one of my classmates. There was only one pronounced atheist in my class, and even he wasn't entirely sure on why he was atheist when he was asked by my teacher why he was so adamant in the nonexistence of a God.
This discussion also recalled the time when I was talking to my friend about God. I had asked her what she thought about faith and God's presence in our lives. Her response was, "I believe in a God....but I don't know...I try not to think about it so much."
All of these occurrences came back to me and it struck me that pretty much everyone my age at least wants to believe in a God, or, if they don't, they don't even know why. Guys wake up! This is where we're supposed to come in. We may be students, we may be sons and daughters of our parents, we may be friends and older siblings, but first and foremost we are the body of Christ. The disciples and Jesus are no longer physically on this earth to spread God's love. We are His body. So many of our peers have already acknowledged the existence of a God...half the work has already been done for us by His grace. They may not know Scripture or know God's mercy, but it is so great that they all at least want to believe that there is a God. As followers of faith we should take advantage of this! Let's share His light with them, amen?
Matthew 5:14-16
In my english class we never really have tests or anything, and most of our written work is done outside of class. Instead, we have discussions. This week we were discussing the transcendentalists...this eventually led to a conversation on God and science. What struck me the most during that period was that so many people seemed to believe in God, or at the very least a higher power, or "the magic in life" in the words of one of my classmates. There was only one pronounced atheist in my class, and even he wasn't entirely sure on why he was atheist when he was asked by my teacher why he was so adamant in the nonexistence of a God.
This discussion also recalled the time when I was talking to my friend about God. I had asked her what she thought about faith and God's presence in our lives. Her response was, "I believe in a God....but I don't know...I try not to think about it so much."
All of these occurrences came back to me and it struck me that pretty much everyone my age at least wants to believe in a God, or, if they don't, they don't even know why. Guys wake up! This is where we're supposed to come in. We may be students, we may be sons and daughters of our parents, we may be friends and older siblings, but first and foremost we are the body of Christ. The disciples and Jesus are no longer physically on this earth to spread God's love. We are His body. So many of our peers have already acknowledged the existence of a God...half the work has already been done for us by His grace. They may not know Scripture or know God's mercy, but it is so great that they all at least want to believe that there is a God. As followers of faith we should take advantage of this! Let's share His light with them, amen?
10.10.2008
Being the Bigger Person
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Hatred. I think it starts off small most of the time, just that tiny bit of resentment or annoyance for something in your life. Then it grows silently inside of you, oh so gradually, and before you know it, wham! You find yourself thinking things you know are wrong, you start to feel lost, the bitterness eating away at your heart--and ultimately, your relationship with our Creator.
We grow up in this society taught to be "the bigger person", to be above picking and engaging in fights with our loved ones--yet how often is it that we wake up and find ourselves in petty confrontations with our brothers, sisters, parents, friends...
Well, I think that the general concept of being "the bigger person" is good in that we should avoid engaging in activities that will only breed and encourage our hatred--except when the world preaches that idea to us, its missing one important part-God's grace.
For me, I remember trying to be the bigger person when I was little. And if I did succeed in walking away from some drama that my brother or friend had started, I would still be raging on the inside after I walked away. Actually, the situation ended up for the worse whenever I did that, because not only was I still angry and inwardly hating the other person, but also I would be gloating at the same time--proud of myself that I had done what I know my parents would've seen as the mature thing to do by walking away from a physical or verbal fight. But just because I walked away didn't mean anything had actually changed between the two of us--both of us would still feel animosity towards each other. Walking away from a fight without grace, without compassion for the other person, is meaningless. It won't change how you feel towards that person, and it most likely won't change your situation with the other person.
But if you walk away with God's grace--that's a different story. We can't overcome all of the problems we face on this earth alone--especially the hatred and evil which fills our hearts. We can't truly forgive, we can't truly empty our hearts of all hate and bitterness without God. It is our faith that allows us to turn from evil, to turn and be above the impurities that Satan tempts us with on a daily basis. The cross....isn't that the greatest example of forgiveness and love? Jesus died willingly for you, for me, and all of humanity. In this he shows us the true meaning of grace--forgiveness, even when by his actions the receiver has not earned compassion or mercy. We do not deserve the mercy God gives us--it is a gift that Jesus has enabled us to receive. It is not our own strength and maturity we should rely on to forgive others; rather, it is God's ultimate gift to us, and His strength that allows such mercy to enter our lives.
Ephesians 4:31-32
Hatred. I think it starts off small most of the time, just that tiny bit of resentment or annoyance for something in your life. Then it grows silently inside of you, oh so gradually, and before you know it, wham! You find yourself thinking things you know are wrong, you start to feel lost, the bitterness eating away at your heart--and ultimately, your relationship with our Creator.
We grow up in this society taught to be "the bigger person", to be above picking and engaging in fights with our loved ones--yet how often is it that we wake up and find ourselves in petty confrontations with our brothers, sisters, parents, friends...
Well, I think that the general concept of being "the bigger person" is good in that we should avoid engaging in activities that will only breed and encourage our hatred--except when the world preaches that idea to us, its missing one important part-God's grace.
For me, I remember trying to be the bigger person when I was little. And if I did succeed in walking away from some drama that my brother or friend had started, I would still be raging on the inside after I walked away. Actually, the situation ended up for the worse whenever I did that, because not only was I still angry and inwardly hating the other person, but also I would be gloating at the same time--proud of myself that I had done what I know my parents would've seen as the mature thing to do by walking away from a physical or verbal fight. But just because I walked away didn't mean anything had actually changed between the two of us--both of us would still feel animosity towards each other. Walking away from a fight without grace, without compassion for the other person, is meaningless. It won't change how you feel towards that person, and it most likely won't change your situation with the other person.
But if you walk away with God's grace--that's a different story. We can't overcome all of the problems we face on this earth alone--especially the hatred and evil which fills our hearts. We can't truly forgive, we can't truly empty our hearts of all hate and bitterness without God. It is our faith that allows us to turn from evil, to turn and be above the impurities that Satan tempts us with on a daily basis. The cross....isn't that the greatest example of forgiveness and love? Jesus died willingly for you, for me, and all of humanity. In this he shows us the true meaning of grace--forgiveness, even when by his actions the receiver has not earned compassion or mercy. We do not deserve the mercy God gives us--it is a gift that Jesus has enabled us to receive. It is not our own strength and maturity we should rely on to forgive others; rather, it is God's ultimate gift to us, and His strength that allows such mercy to enter our lives.
10.03.2008
Fake Christians
"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.
Matthew 7:1-5
I love these verses because it is so true that we often turn a blind eye to our own iniquities to judge our own brothers and sisters, whether it be silently in our heads or with outward scorn or disapproval. Perhaps we hear curse words falling from their mouths, or hear of their past unholy actions from another person. We are quick to deem them as "fake christians", the ones who go to church and say that they are believers when asked, yet when you watch them they seem to live just as ungodly a life as the nonbelievers that surround them.
This passage reminds us that we should remember first our own transgressions and sin before we should concern ourselves with how anyone else lives their own life. Are we not hypocrites if we only lament the sins of others, all while living sinful lives ourselves? We must always be careful of the grip of sin in our lives; if we grow lax and unwatchful of temptation's hold in our lives, there is a good chance that we will fall to our sinful desires. I think that focusing on the purity of your own life first is priority because ultimately faith is between you and God. Fellowship is important, and as a body in Christ we are united to do His glorious works, but when you meet our Heavenly Savior in judgment, He will be judging YOU. When you see His face, He won't be concerning Himself with the sins that your friends or family members have committed, but He will see all that has happened in your life and His judgment will be based on what you have sowed on this earth for your place in heaven. Therefore, ensure that your life is one that shines His light-do not be a hypocrite who judges others for their iniquities while you yourself are living in sin.
The verses then follow to tell us that after we have "taken the plank out of our own eye", to turn and remove the speck from our brother's eye. This is where fellowship and establishing yourselves among a family of believers will benefit your life immensely. If we constantly thrive to live lives of Christ, then it is only appropriate we should every once in a while speak to our brothers and sisters gently if we see them falling fast from sin and desire. However, the passage also points out our own hypocrisy-how often have we fallen into the same sins as the ones we see our brothers and sisters struggling through? How often is it that we can see sins that both of us are dealing with, yet we only seem to notice and judge others for falling into that temptation? We are all sinners. Being Christian does not mean that we do not struggle with sin or temptation, it means that the iniquities we deal with have been forgiven, covered by Jesus' blood. So maybe that "fake christian" you see in your school is failing to address the sin in their lives-yet by turning a blind eye to our own sin in order to judge them for their lack of watchfulness is hypocrisy. Perhaps they are truly curious about Christ but are not taking His word to heart and praying for a heart of faith. Whatever the case may be, I do not believe we should shun them(even if only in our heads) for being hypocrites, for we ourselves can probably relate to a moment where we ourselves were under control of the same sin that they struggle with. Instead, offer them words of encouragement, and most importantly, your prayers.
Matthew 7:1-5
I love these verses because it is so true that we often turn a blind eye to our own iniquities to judge our own brothers and sisters, whether it be silently in our heads or with outward scorn or disapproval. Perhaps we hear curse words falling from their mouths, or hear of their past unholy actions from another person. We are quick to deem them as "fake christians", the ones who go to church and say that they are believers when asked, yet when you watch them they seem to live just as ungodly a life as the nonbelievers that surround them.
This passage reminds us that we should remember first our own transgressions and sin before we should concern ourselves with how anyone else lives their own life. Are we not hypocrites if we only lament the sins of others, all while living sinful lives ourselves? We must always be careful of the grip of sin in our lives; if we grow lax and unwatchful of temptation's hold in our lives, there is a good chance that we will fall to our sinful desires. I think that focusing on the purity of your own life first is priority because ultimately faith is between you and God. Fellowship is important, and as a body in Christ we are united to do His glorious works, but when you meet our Heavenly Savior in judgment, He will be judging YOU. When you see His face, He won't be concerning Himself with the sins that your friends or family members have committed, but He will see all that has happened in your life and His judgment will be based on what you have sowed on this earth for your place in heaven. Therefore, ensure that your life is one that shines His light-do not be a hypocrite who judges others for their iniquities while you yourself are living in sin.
The verses then follow to tell us that after we have "taken the plank out of our own eye", to turn and remove the speck from our brother's eye. This is where fellowship and establishing yourselves among a family of believers will benefit your life immensely. If we constantly thrive to live lives of Christ, then it is only appropriate we should every once in a while speak to our brothers and sisters gently if we see them falling fast from sin and desire. However, the passage also points out our own hypocrisy-how often have we fallen into the same sins as the ones we see our brothers and sisters struggling through? How often is it that we can see sins that both of us are dealing with, yet we only seem to notice and judge others for falling into that temptation? We are all sinners. Being Christian does not mean that we do not struggle with sin or temptation, it means that the iniquities we deal with have been forgiven, covered by Jesus' blood. So maybe that "fake christian" you see in your school is failing to address the sin in their lives-yet by turning a blind eye to our own sin in order to judge them for their lack of watchfulness is hypocrisy. Perhaps they are truly curious about Christ but are not taking His word to heart and praying for a heart of faith. Whatever the case may be, I do not believe we should shun them(even if only in our heads) for being hypocrites, for we ourselves can probably relate to a moment where we ourselves were under control of the same sin that they struggle with. Instead, offer them words of encouragement, and most importantly, your prayers.
9.26.2008
See You at the Pole
So this past Wednesday was See You at the Pole, a national event in which students gather at their local flag pole at their school or campus to pray for everything from their own storms to the sufferings that occur across the world.
At my school we gathered at 7 am, standing in the morning dew. When I arrived early I was surprised to see that there were so many adults(mothers of students at the school, teachers, and local church goers) sitting on the benches, ready to pray with us. After praise and an opening prayer as a large group, the other leaders and I divided up into small prayer groups.
In my group were two of my classmates, an underclassman, a young girl(maybe 9 or so) , her older sister, and a woman from a local church. As we parted from the large group and walked toward a set of benches a few yards away, the woman, Daisy, touched my shoulder and asked if she should go get her pocketbook before we started praying. She had left it next to the boxes of munchkins one of the leaders had brought to share. Considering the short distance between the benches and the vast groups of already praying small groups which surrounded the benches, I replied, "Sure you can, but it'd probably be okay if you left it too. I don't think anyone from our club would take it." We went on and prayed until 7:40.
As we returned to the large group, Daisy went to get her pocketbook. Except well, it kind of wasn't there. When she started looking for it and announced it missing, I was horrified. Horrified because I had been the one who had convinced her to leave it. Horrified at the possibility that someone had taken it in the midst of honest prayers and dedicated students. I hoped of course, that someone had taken it by accident.
The bell rang, and everyone had to go inside. The bag was no where to be found, and Daisy's phone and car keys were in the bag. I was at a loss at what to do, so quickly I prayed that God would return the bag to this poor woman who had come to pray for our school and our nation.
Now okay, later on Daisy emailed and told us that someone had found her bag in their car. She believes that someone (perhaps a student) had picked up the bag and placed it in the car, in knowledge that the owner of the car also had the same bag that Daisy did.
I realize that this whole story was a small incident and not particularly life-changing or deeply moving, but God works small miracles of faith for us every day. In a way I guess God answered our prayers to find Daisy's bag. At its heart, See You at the Pole is about prayer. Praying for our schools. Praying for our nation. Praying for those who are persecuted for their faith...the list goes on and on. God will answer honest prayers. They may not be answered in the way you want, or in the time frame you want them to be answered in. But He is listening for your cries.
"And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints" (Ephesians 6:18)
At my school we gathered at 7 am, standing in the morning dew. When I arrived early I was surprised to see that there were so many adults(mothers of students at the school, teachers, and local church goers) sitting on the benches, ready to pray with us. After praise and an opening prayer as a large group, the other leaders and I divided up into small prayer groups.
In my group were two of my classmates, an underclassman, a young girl(maybe 9 or so) , her older sister, and a woman from a local church. As we parted from the large group and walked toward a set of benches a few yards away, the woman, Daisy, touched my shoulder and asked if she should go get her pocketbook before we started praying. She had left it next to the boxes of munchkins one of the leaders had brought to share. Considering the short distance between the benches and the vast groups of already praying small groups which surrounded the benches, I replied, "Sure you can, but it'd probably be okay if you left it too. I don't think anyone from our club would take it." We went on and prayed until 7:40.
As we returned to the large group, Daisy went to get her pocketbook. Except well, it kind of wasn't there. When she started looking for it and announced it missing, I was horrified. Horrified because I had been the one who had convinced her to leave it. Horrified at the possibility that someone had taken it in the midst of honest prayers and dedicated students. I hoped of course, that someone had taken it by accident.
The bell rang, and everyone had to go inside. The bag was no where to be found, and Daisy's phone and car keys were in the bag. I was at a loss at what to do, so quickly I prayed that God would return the bag to this poor woman who had come to pray for our school and our nation.
Now okay, later on Daisy emailed and told us that someone had found her bag in their car. She believes that someone (perhaps a student) had picked up the bag and placed it in the car, in knowledge that the owner of the car also had the same bag that Daisy did.
I realize that this whole story was a small incident and not particularly life-changing or deeply moving, but God works small miracles of faith for us every day. In a way I guess God answered our prayers to find Daisy's bag. At its heart, See You at the Pole is about prayer. Praying for our schools. Praying for our nation. Praying for those who are persecuted for their faith...the list goes on and on. God will answer honest prayers. They may not be answered in the way you want, or in the time frame you want them to be answered in. But He is listening for your cries.
"And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints" (Ephesians 6:18)
9.19.2008
Heart of Faith
We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.
2 Corinthians 4:8-9
I'm sure all of you have heard this verse before, but its probably one of the most encouraging verses for me and gives me so much strength when I feel down. So this week, there were alot of highs and lows for me...its surprising how many things you can feel in one week.
First of let me just say that God has blessed this week with a whole bunch of things. Christian Club had its first meeting and we are having daily morning prayer sessions. So many people showed up we didn't even have enough chairs in the classroom and people were sitting on tables and the floor. Nonbeliever friends are coming to the meetings with an open heart in search of God. There's even one who is waking up madddd early to get to the prayer sessions. Wow haha. I mean, until I just typed that sentence the magnitude of that hasn't hit me hard like it should. How awesome is He to work in my school with such grace and power, amen?
School is going fairly well, and I am keeping on top of things so far. I am thankful for the other leaders so that every other day Jon will lead prayer and I have a chance to just pray to my God without any other cares or distractions. Next week we will be starting devos!
Anyway, so even though this week was definitely full of the work of God, I still was feeling so discouraged. The first meeting of C-Club was pretty good according the members who attended, but I felt like I did such a poor job in organizing and working with my fellow leaders to prepare for the meeting. Also since there were so many people and it was so crowded, everyone was talking and I lost my temper and starting yelling for people to be quiet every five minutes. I was in such a bad mood the whole meeting, and I probably said a lot of awful things without meaning it. After that day I didn't feel like God had worked through me at all, and if I wasn't doing His work, then what was I doing leading this club at all? I also am still not really sure about my leadership at DEM. When I email the girls it's almost as if I'm talking to myself because I don't know how to reach out to others as well as Frances does. Another thing is, one of my nonbeliever friends started asking me so many questions about God that I had a hard time answering them all. She was asking me questions I guess that are pretty typical, things like "Where do babies go if they die unbaptized, how can a murderer be saved if he accepts Christ on his deathbed and a good man dies and goes to hell.." I tried to answer all of them but it was like rapid-fire questioning and I do not think I did much justice to them. I only had a few verses of Scripture to back up what I was saying, and I feel like she left me feeling dubious about my answers. The good news is however, that I convinced her to keep on attending Christian Club, and that we will be addressing each question she asked.
So that night I prayed really hard that God would lift me up and give me a heart dedicated to Him. But you know, there is a clear distinction between knowing something in your mind and believing it with your heart. It's like...I know that(especially after listening to Pastor Steph's sermon last sunday) that I should have faith in Him by remembering all that He has done for me, but for me sometimes its just hard to really get your heart to believe it. My brain goes, "Okay. So you're having a hard time with this. You know what to do! You've listened to the sermons, and you've read His word every day. You know that God will carry you through these storms and pick you up like He always does." But my heart sometimes is just so deadened and crushed by the world that it's hard.
This is where God comes in, and I think this is why we should ALWAYS be praying for a heart of Christ. Pray that he will change us and move us with His merciful grace to the very core of our hearts, that deepest and darkest corners of our souls will be penetrated with His light. That even in times of darkness, you will not only know what Scripture says, but that your heart will believe it.
"We are glad whenever we are weak but you are strong; and our prayer is for your perfection."
2 Corinthians 13:9
2 Corinthians 4:8-9
I'm sure all of you have heard this verse before, but its probably one of the most encouraging verses for me and gives me so much strength when I feel down. So this week, there were alot of highs and lows for me...its surprising how many things you can feel in one week.
First of let me just say that God has blessed this week with a whole bunch of things. Christian Club had its first meeting and we are having daily morning prayer sessions. So many people showed up we didn't even have enough chairs in the classroom and people were sitting on tables and the floor. Nonbeliever friends are coming to the meetings with an open heart in search of God. There's even one who is waking up madddd early to get to the prayer sessions. Wow haha. I mean, until I just typed that sentence the magnitude of that hasn't hit me hard like it should. How awesome is He to work in my school with such grace and power, amen?
School is going fairly well, and I am keeping on top of things so far. I am thankful for the other leaders so that every other day Jon will lead prayer and I have a chance to just pray to my God without any other cares or distractions. Next week we will be starting devos!
Anyway, so even though this week was definitely full of the work of God, I still was feeling so discouraged. The first meeting of C-Club was pretty good according the members who attended, but I felt like I did such a poor job in organizing and working with my fellow leaders to prepare for the meeting. Also since there were so many people and it was so crowded, everyone was talking and I lost my temper and starting yelling for people to be quiet every five minutes. I was in such a bad mood the whole meeting, and I probably said a lot of awful things without meaning it. After that day I didn't feel like God had worked through me at all, and if I wasn't doing His work, then what was I doing leading this club at all? I also am still not really sure about my leadership at DEM. When I email the girls it's almost as if I'm talking to myself because I don't know how to reach out to others as well as Frances does. Another thing is, one of my nonbeliever friends started asking me so many questions about God that I had a hard time answering them all. She was asking me questions I guess that are pretty typical, things like "Where do babies go if they die unbaptized, how can a murderer be saved if he accepts Christ on his deathbed and a good man dies and goes to hell.." I tried to answer all of them but it was like rapid-fire questioning and I do not think I did much justice to them. I only had a few verses of Scripture to back up what I was saying, and I feel like she left me feeling dubious about my answers. The good news is however, that I convinced her to keep on attending Christian Club, and that we will be addressing each question she asked.
So that night I prayed really hard that God would lift me up and give me a heart dedicated to Him. But you know, there is a clear distinction between knowing something in your mind and believing it with your heart. It's like...I know that(especially after listening to Pastor Steph's sermon last sunday) that I should have faith in Him by remembering all that He has done for me, but for me sometimes its just hard to really get your heart to believe it. My brain goes, "Okay. So you're having a hard time with this. You know what to do! You've listened to the sermons, and you've read His word every day. You know that God will carry you through these storms and pick you up like He always does." But my heart sometimes is just so deadened and crushed by the world that it's hard.
This is where God comes in, and I think this is why we should ALWAYS be praying for a heart of Christ. Pray that he will change us and move us with His merciful grace to the very core of our hearts, that deepest and darkest corners of our souls will be penetrated with His light. That even in times of darkness, you will not only know what Scripture says, but that your heart will believe it.
"We are glad whenever we are weak but you are strong; and our prayer is for your perfection."
2 Corinthians 13:9
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