Being the Bigger Person

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Ephesians 4:31-32

Hatred. I think it starts off small most of the time, just that tiny bit of resentment or annoyance for something in your life. Then it grows silently inside of you, oh so gradually, and before you know it, wham! You find yourself thinking things you know are wrong, you start to feel lost, the bitterness eating away at your heart--and ultimately, your relationship with our Creator.

We grow up in this society taught to be "the bigger person", to be above picking and engaging in fights with our loved ones--yet how often is it that we wake up and find ourselves in petty confrontations with our brothers, sisters, parents, friends...

Well, I think that the general concept of being "the bigger person" is good in that we should avoid engaging in activities that will only breed and encourage our hatred--except when the world preaches that idea to us, its missing one important part-God's grace.

For me, I remember trying to be the bigger person when I was little. And if I did succeed in walking away from some drama that my brother or friend had started, I would still be raging on the inside after I walked away. Actually, the situation ended up for the worse whenever I did that, because not only was I still angry and inwardly hating the other person, but also I would be gloating at the same time--proud of myself that I had done what I know my parents would've seen as the mature thing to do by walking away from a physical or verbal fight. But just because I walked away didn't mean anything had actually changed between the two of us--both of us would still feel animosity towards each other. Walking away from a fight without grace, without compassion for the other person, is meaningless. It won't change how you feel towards that person, and it most likely won't change your situation with the other person.

But if you walk away with God's grace--that's a different story. We can't overcome all of the problems we face on this earth alone--especially the hatred and evil which fills our hearts. We can't truly forgive, we can't truly empty our hearts of all hate and bitterness without God. It is our faith that allows us to turn from evil, to turn and be above the impurities that Satan tempts us with on a daily basis. The cross....isn't that the greatest example of forgiveness and love? Jesus died willingly for you, for me, and all of humanity. In this he shows us the true meaning of grace--forgiveness, even when by his actions the receiver has not earned compassion or mercy. We do not deserve the mercy God gives us--it is a gift that Jesus has enabled us to receive. It is not our own strength and maturity we should rely on to forgive others; rather, it is God's ultimate gift to us, and His strength that allows such mercy to enter our lives.