See You at the Pole

So this past Wednesday was See You at the Pole, a national event in which students gather at their local flag pole at their school or campus to pray for everything from their own storms to the sufferings that occur across the world.

At my school we gathered at 7 am, standing in the morning dew. When I arrived early I was surprised to see that there were so many adults(mothers of students at the school, teachers, and local church goers) sitting on the benches, ready to pray with us. After praise and an opening prayer as a large group, the other leaders and I divided up into small prayer groups.

In my group were two of my classmates, an underclassman, a young girl(maybe 9 or so) , her older sister, and a woman from a local church. As we parted from the large group and walked toward a set of benches a few yards away, the woman, Daisy, touched my shoulder and asked if she should go get her pocketbook before we started praying. She had left it next to the boxes of munchkins one of the leaders had brought to share. Considering the short distance between the benches and the vast groups of already praying small groups which surrounded the benches, I replied, "Sure you can, but it'd probably be okay if you left it too. I don't think anyone from our club would take it." We went on and prayed until 7:40.

As we returned to the large group, Daisy went to get her pocketbook. Except well, it kind of wasn't there. When she started looking for it and announced it missing, I was horrified. Horrified because I had been the one who had convinced her to leave it. Horrified at the possibility that someone had taken it in the midst of honest prayers and dedicated students. I hoped of course, that someone had taken it by accident.

The bell rang, and everyone had to go inside. The bag was no where to be found, and Daisy's phone and car keys were in the bag. I was at a loss at what to do, so quickly I prayed that God would return the bag to this poor woman who had come to pray for our school and our nation.

Now okay, later on Daisy emailed and told us that someone had found her bag in their car. She believes that someone (perhaps a student) had picked up the bag and placed it in the car, in knowledge that the owner of the car also had the same bag that Daisy did.

I realize that this whole story was a small incident and not particularly life-changing or deeply moving, but God works small miracles of faith for us every day. In a way I guess God answered our prayers to find Daisy's bag. At its heart, See You at the Pole is about prayer. Praying for our schools. Praying for our nation. Praying for those who are persecuted for their faith...the list goes on and on. God will answer honest prayers. They may not be answered in the way you want, or in the time frame you want them to be answered in. But He is listening for your cries.

"And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints" (Ephesians 6:18)

Heart of Faith

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.
2 Corinthians 4:8-9

I'm sure all of you have heard this verse before, but its probably one of the most encouraging verses for me and gives me so much strength when I feel down. So this week, there were alot of highs and lows for me...its surprising how many things you can feel in one week.

First of let me just say that God has blessed this week with a whole bunch of things. Christian Club had its first meeting and we are having daily morning prayer sessions. So many people showed up we didn't even have enough chairs in the classroom and people were sitting on tables and the floor. Nonbeliever friends are coming to the meetings with an open heart in search of God. There's even one who is waking up madddd early to get to the prayer sessions. Wow haha. I mean, until I just typed that sentence the magnitude of that hasn't hit me hard like it should. How awesome is He to work in my school with such grace and power, amen?
School is going fairly well, and I am keeping on top of things so far. I am thankful for the other leaders so that every other day Jon will lead prayer and I have a chance to just pray to my God without any other cares or distractions. Next week we will be starting devos!

Anyway, so even though this week was definitely full of the work of God, I still was feeling so discouraged. The first meeting of C-Club was pretty good according the members who attended, but I felt like I did such a poor job in organizing and working with my fellow leaders to prepare for the meeting. Also since there were so many people and it was so crowded, everyone was talking and I lost my temper and starting yelling for people to be quiet every five minutes. I was in such a bad mood the whole meeting, and I probably said a lot of awful things without meaning it. After that day I didn't feel like God had worked through me at all, and if I wasn't doing His work, then what was I doing leading this club at all? I also am still not really sure about my leadership at DEM. When I email the girls it's almost as if I'm talking to myself because I don't know how to reach out to others as well as Frances does. Another thing is, one of my nonbeliever friends started asking me so many questions about God that I had a hard time answering them all. She was asking me questions I guess that are pretty typical, things like "Where do babies go if they die unbaptized, how can a murderer be saved if he accepts Christ on his deathbed and a good man dies and goes to hell.." I tried to answer all of them but it was like rapid-fire questioning and I do not think I did much justice to them. I only had a few verses of Scripture to back up what I was saying, and I feel like she left me feeling dubious about my answers. The good news is however, that I convinced her to keep on attending Christian Club, and that we will be addressing each question she asked.

So that night I prayed really hard that God would lift me up and give me a heart dedicated to Him. But you know, there is a clear distinction between knowing something in your mind and believing it with your heart. It's like...I know that(especially after listening to Pastor Steph's sermon last sunday) that I should have faith in Him by remembering all that He has done for me, but for me sometimes its just hard to really get your heart to believe it. My brain goes, "Okay. So you're having a hard time with this. You know what to do! You've listened to the sermons, and you've read His word every day. You know that God will carry you through these storms and pick you up like He always does." But my heart sometimes is just so deadened and crushed by the world that it's hard.

This is where God comes in, and I think this is why we should ALWAYS be praying for a heart of Christ. Pray that he will change us and move us with His merciful grace to the very core of our hearts, that deepest and darkest corners of our souls will be penetrated with His light. That even in times of darkness, you will not only know what Scripture says, but that your heart will believe it.

"We are glad whenever we are weak but you are strong; and our prayer is for your perfection."
2 Corinthians 13:9

Trust in His Advice

Often times I do not fully realize the preciousness of our holy Scripture. It is a gift from God that deserves much more appreciation, and I take it for granted much of the time. When I'm stressed out or dealing with a lot of problems at a time, I go to my Bible for comfort and words of wisdom that I can trust to help guide my heart even closer to Christ.

For me, the preciousness of Scripture is only magnified by the fact that nonbelievers do not have such a thing they can turn to. Yes, they probably do have friends, family members, and adults who care about them and are willing to offer their advice and comfort, but the help that they offer is extremely limited or blinded by their own relationship with the person. Here you have masses and masses of people taking advice from people they see on TV like Oprah or Dr. Phil. I mean seriously, how ridiculous is it? Taking advice from people you don't even know? If you went up to a random person on the street and they gave you advice, would you trust their judgment? I am sure some of the advice these celebrities give is extremely helpful to people, but let's face it-their advice does not have the foundation of Christ behind it. Instead, they offer words of "wisdom" which are based on worldly views.


If you think about it, taking advice from someone else has absolutely no guarantee that it is the best advice you can get. Sure, the person may be more mature, and yes, perhaps they have even gone through the same situation. However, it's important to remember that whoever you seek advice from-whether it be a brother, sister, mother, father, friend; they are all human. They too are sinners who have made just as many mistakes and possess just as many flaws as you do. Although their advice may be given through affection and love, you can't know for sure that what they say will be the right decision to make. With the Bible, I know that I can trust in what I'm reading. I know if I base my actions and choices off the word of God, at the very least my heart will continue to dwell in Christ and that I have done right by Him. May He grant me the ability to interpret His Word with truth and clarity.

How amazing God is to give us the Word which we may KNOW is truth. How amazing He is to arm us with Scripture so that we may have guidance in this lost world.

"Every word of God is flawless;
he is a shield to those who take refuge in him."

Proverbs 30:5

absolutely flawless. hallelujah =]

Rejoice!

I think it is important to remember to include joy in our lives. Often times reading scripture and praying seems so serious and we often fall into a kind of "pattern praying" in which we just run through lists of people/things to pray for without really paying any attention. To me, true prayer is with passion, honesty, and a heart burning for Christ. It is helpful for me when I find myself having difficulties praying to remind myself why I am doing it in the first place. That is when I realize that I should indeed be joyful for the cross that has saved me.

Certainly the gospel's meaning is crucial to our lives, but it doesn't mean that while we are reading the word that we have to do it with a grim set face. Not to say that acting serious is bad-in many cases it is the most appropriate for honoring God; in all cases we should take the gospel's meaning and truth in all seriousness.

Also another thing-how else can nonbelievers believe what we say when we do not have joy in our lives? If there is one thing that humanity seeks it would probably be happiness. I'm not saying that we should walk around pretending our lives are dandy all the time, but when we have true joy-in other words, joy that springs from a heart of Christ, people notice.

In all honesty knowing the cross is the greatest thing that has ever and will ever happen in my life. He offers us eternal life that no one else can give. He cleanses us from our sinful lives. I am honored that He has chosen me to worship Him. If it is as great as I say what reason do I have to be unhappy about?

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice.

Philippians 4:4

By the way, I'm not sure if all of you guys know about it but those who wanted my school's new christian club shirts---they are in!!!
If you ordered a shirt email me either tonight or tomorrow if you want me to bring it to church this weekend. For those of you who didn't hear or I forgot to tag on facebook =X sorry, we have extra shirts though! But not a lot. Email me! yimxd@yahoo.com

Those of you who have facebook here is my note on them:
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1334371054#/note.php?note_id=20578312458

and for those of you who don't, here is a picture of what the shirts look like:

the verse on the back is john 16:33


kinda bummed no one really understood the shirts, but it relates to the verse on the back.

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

so......that little dude in the corner is being saved by the cross from the grasps of the evil monster. Inside the monster represents all the thoughts that we often have when we are going through the trials that this world puts us through. yeah...lol

Grace, Despite a Storm of Anger

This summer I have been harboring a silent, burning anger in my heart...one that I was not ready to admit to anyone, myself included. When my brother came back from college this summer, it was different. My initial gladness that I would be seeing him and being able to hang out with him was soon dissolved-he spent his days either at work, summer classes, or out partying. I knew he still slept in the same house as I did-yet I would be lucky to catch a glimpse of him on any given day. I was resentful.

Now, I have to say that out of all of my immediate family, my elder brother is who I am closest to. Those who know both of us would probably say that we are complete opposites, and most express surprise or shock when I say that we can get along pretty well. Back when i lived in Brooklyn, he was who I spent time with. He was a protector, a playmate, a fellow soldier in the battle against my parents, and an occasional bully. In many ways he helps me grow up, and I established a foundation of trust and respect for him that I thought I would never lose. As siblings do however, our lives diverged into two separate ones as we grew older. Nevertheless I knew he would be there if i needed him. Like most boys he is shy to speak with TOO much affection-but he would always be there to listen to my problems and give me some solid advice when I needed it.


Eventually I did start to see a little more of him once his summer classes ended. He started driving me to SAT classes. One day he invited his girlfriend over and they went off to eat, and when I called to make sure he was coming home in time to drive me to my class, he promised he would be home soon. My SAT class was at 6. He did not return until 6:45, and I was an hour late to class. The whole time I was so angry, so jealous. After that I spent days raging about how irresponsible he always seemed to be, recalling all the little careless or immature mistakes he had made this summer, how it was obvious he no longer cared for me or my little brother Patrick like he had once claimed. To be left, abandoned, just so he could have fun with some girl. To have turned into an empty-hearted fool that had nothing but my scorn and bitterness.

and then I read this.

He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.

Proverbs 16:32

To feel so consumed with rage...well, it would be appropriate to say that I was blinded by my anger. So blind, that I let it take over my heart and my spirit. When I read that verse it swept away the storms in my eyes-my feelings of being hurt and angry had led me astray from God. I had forgotten mercy, and yes, despite my blog's username, grace.

Since then my brother has regained my trust and respect, despite his shortcomings. Grace has re-entered my relationship with him.

How many times have I sinned? How many atrocities have I committed in actuality or in heart? How many times have I been irresponsible and ended up hurting a loved one?
So for me to sin against Him, my beautiful Savior, my Creator, my One and Only....
If a stupid error like the one my brother made was so hurtful to me, I can't even begin to imagine the hurt that my sins cause to One who loves me so much.
Yet, that is exactly why we have mercy. That is why we have been offered the cross. God's love.

Truth, Undisguised.

^ attempted drawing for new jubo design
except that's like, MAD INK when you print out 25 copies of that every week
so i'll have to come up with something else =/

DC Talk's "Jesus Freak"-
Separated, I cut myself clean
From a past that comes back in my darkest of dreams
Been apprehended by a spiritual force
And a grace that replaced all the me I've divorced

What will people think
When they hear that I'm a Jesus freak
What will people do when they find that it's true
I don't really care if they label me a Jesus freak
There ain't no disguising the truth

Freak. Harsh words. When I was younger, I pretty much thought those words every time someone even spoke about "God" or "Jesus Christ". In the back of my mind I would roll my eyes and immediately judge the person to be a weirdo church freak. My mom told me that Christians believed Jesus was the Son of God and that he had paid for our sins by his death on the cross. I think someone even gave me a book that illustrated several stories from the bible. So, although I knew one of the most basic essentials of faith, I did not actually understand the absolute magnitude of his doing so. To me, they were just stories. I believed I was such a good girl that Jesus dying for me-well, there was not much to pay for in my case, even if the story I read on those pages were really true.

But thank God for the friends and the numerous adults who have Christ in their lives-never giving up on trying to get me to church. Over my middle school years my attempts at a spiritual life was on and off. There would be long periods in which I would sing, praise, and read the bible, yet at times I would find myself straying and avoiding church for months at a time.

I think sometimes by growing up around so many Christians, those of you who have the privilege of being raised in Christ often become blinded to how desperate the world is. This applies for myself as well, because even though my home is not in Christ, many of my closest friends at school are followers. However....when we are forced to confront those who are not saved, those who challenge us with their eyes and words...we feel unprepared, anxious that we won't find the proper words to express truth, fearful of rejection. Furthermore, by constantly being surrounded by our church community and people who do know truth, we grow unconscious of the URGENCY of the need to spread Christ-this world is absolutely filled with greed, sorrows, cheap thrills, and billions desperately seeking a method to fill the empty schism in their lives. Only Christ can do the latter. When fear creeps into our hearts however, we shy away from speaking the Gospel to those who do not know it...defeating the purpose of our claim that He is the "truth." If He really is the truth, we have an obligation to tell everyone about it. If we believe, yet keep silent, it would mean we have chosen to condemn this world to hell. He calls us to spread his word. He calls us to unite as one, so that we can let Him save others through us. World, you can call me whatever you want-church freak, weirdo, bible-thumper. But i'm sick of disguising truth. So let's do it-let's be freaks for Jesus.

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
2 Timothy 1:7

Where are my eyes fixed?

Hey guys. I like blogspot. It's so pretty..

Anyways!

So I hate to remind everyone, but school is starting soon. As for me, junior year commences on September 4th. I was nervous because everyone tells me junior year is the most difficult of highschool years-dealing with things like SAT, ACT, AP exams, portfolio reviews from colleges..the list goes on and on. PLUS, next year I will be one out of five of the leaders of my highschool's Christian Club (Jon is another one btw) and we are determined to make a comeback in our school. Basically this year will be very busy to say the least.

I've been freaking out about this the past couple days..being really scared haha and worried that I won't do as well as I want to in school and all these other things...

but remembering what Scripture says about these times of trouble and worry..

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." - 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

So breaking down this verse I get a couple things from it.

1) Don't lose heart!-straightforward enough
2) In the same way we take showers every morning or night to rinse off grime, reading/praying/praising every morning or night is how we should rinse off the worldly things that have tried to draw us away as each day comes. Without showers you'll be really really...ucky and smelly........ew. Without daily spiritual cleansing, you'll find yourself living for worldy things and an unclean, unholy life.
3) Sticking through it all by trusting in Him and continuing to shine His glory even in the darkest of times will bring you the best thing that can ever happen: eternal life in heaven..!
4)Yeah yeah...school and those other things are relatively important, so every once in a while I have to catch myself and ask myself what I am truly living this life for. In other words, what are your eyes fixed on?

EDIT: WOAH i didn't even realize that I used the same verse that Pastor Steph told us would be the basis of this upcoming Sunday's sermon. Well then, haha let's see what his take on it is.